The Wild Beast
by Mustloveodd
Summary: An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind- Buddha. Merlin has been attacked by an invisible 'something' Arthur wants answers, secrets are revealed and the Knights and Arthur are determined to make things right. Magic Reveal. No Slash. Challenge from Method in Madness
1. The Sound of Silence

**My first fanfic on this account and my first fanfic that I've written in a _very_ long time. I'd appreciate any constructive reviews to help me improve. **

**Quote Prompt from Method in Madness: "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." –Buddha**

**I warped the world to my own twisted needs. Please forgive me.**

**Disclaimer I do not own Merlin or any of the characters, storylines, or anything.**

Chapter One: The Sound of Silence

Traveling in the woods was never one of Merlin's favorite actives. Not only was it boring but it always seemed to put him more on edge than anything else he could currently think of.

Maybe that was because it felt like bad things only ever happened in the woods, or on their travels. He announced to Arthur that he thought as much. In return he was scoffed, called a girl, and told to move on.

All the same Merlin couldn't help but feel his ears prickle at ever sound the woods made. The birds chirped, and on occasion Merlin could hear a rabbit in a bush.

The wind whistled in the leaves, and Merlin thought, these sounds of nature would have to be one of the only good things about the woods. Only for as long as Arthur didn't try to kill something…

Everything was well in Albion. Morgana had been sacrificed at the veil, which, to the King had been a run of spectacularly good luck. Merlin on the other hand knew better, and had been exhausted for the entire following week.

The King and Queen were soon due to have their firstborn child, and all the Knights of the Round Table were eagerly awaiting the King's return from his travels of which Arthur had insisted he go alone, (if by alone it meant only with Merlin.)

The only thing that could make these times greater, according to Lancelot, was if magic was truly return to the Kingdom so that Merlin could receive the credit he so well deserved.

Merlin had long ago, however, given up on ever getting the credit that Lancelot insisted that he deserved. He was just set on keeping everyone else happy and safe.

Merlin was never scared. On edge maybe, and alert, but never scared despite what Arthur said. No, Merlin, _did not,_ get scared. He was the last Dragonlord after all, and Emrys. What could he ever possibly be afraid of?

"_Mer_lin" Arthur shouted, a few yards away. Merlin, who was lost in the sounds of the woods jumped to attention. He turned his head to look at Arthur. "Hurry up, it will take us all year at the rate you're riding at to get back to Camelot."

Merlin rolled his eyes, muttering, "clot-pole" under his breath before he dug his heels into the horse's sides and trotted to catch up.

"I heard that"

Merlin began a retort, but before he could manage to get the words out of his mouth he felt his stomach drop. He sat straighter in his saddle and listened even harder than before. Something wasn't right.

The wind had died completely, the birds were gone, and Merlin could sense no life anywhere. He jerked his head to the left, straining his ears.

"_Mer_lin, what _are_ you doing?" Arthur started but Merlin raised his hand to silence him.

"Shush" Merlin whispered. Arthur rolled his eyes,

"Did you really just shush me? You can't-" but Merlin turned to face him staring at Arthur intently and as softly as he could he asked,

"Can you hear that?" Arthur paused and listened. He frowned, opened his mouth to argue but closed his mouth once more. A look of comprehension dawned on his face and he looked around before slowly climbing off his horse. Merlin followed suit.

A moment passed as they walked through the silent woods before Merlin heard it. The only way he could begin to describe it was as heavy thumping against the ground, as if a giant were coming their ways.

Merlin looked over to Arthur, but it seemed apparent that he heard none of this. He still gazed around the woods as if looking for the reason the birds had vanished.

Turning around Merlin listened harder and it was as if the sound changed before his very eyes. Which made as little sense to him as hunting for sport did. Still he listened and the thumping shifted into the sound of drums, which shifted again to the sound of padded footsteps, and finally to soft wailing.

Merlin stepped back, on instinct and was surprised when he felt long deep claws dig into his chest. He gasped in shock and in pain but still could not see what was causing his pain. The clawing pain came again and again and although Merlin looked down at his chest but he did not bleed.

He staggered back a few more steps before he stumbled to the ground. The pain intensified and his vision swam as tears of pain watered his eyes. He saw Arthur walk towards him, and Arthur was saying something but Merlin was in so much pain he couldn't understand what it was Arthur was saying.

For a moment the pain subsided, Merlin had hopes that it would stop altogether but in the next moment the pain exploded and Merlin was certain that his chest had been cracked wide open. That was his last thought before his world went black.

When he opened his eyes, his confusion didn't end. He saw Arthur kneeling over him frowning, and although Merlin was disoriented he was no longer in pain. He sat up and saw that Arthur was speaking to him, but could not comprehend what Arthur was saying.

Arthur stood and turned away, and Merlin was still attempting to make sense of what had just happened by he couldn't connect the dots. What had just happened? What in the world was that pain? For a brief moment Merlin wondered if he was ill.

Immediately he tossed the idea aside. That sound he had heard before his attack had been real. The silence of the forest had been something Arthur had heard as well. The pain had been from something very real. And invisible?

Merlin dusted himself off as he rose to his feet, his eyes wide; he searched around for any source of sound. Gaius would know, Merlin decided, and hoped that it was true.

Arthur looked back at him and half smiled, half frowned and shook his head. Merlin could hear blood pounding in his ears. Arthur asked him something but Merlin hadn't been paying much attention.

Merlin asked, "Sorry, what was that?" Arthur sighed,

"I asked if you'd be okay until we got back to Gaius. You were screaming like a girl earlier." Arthur grunted and Merlin's brows furrowed.

"I wasn't screaming" he deflected and Arthur laughed and climbed back onto his horse.

"Sure you weren't, come on. Let's get going."

Before Merlin could respond however he doubled over in pain. He felt a clawing sensation from inside his gut as if the paws of a giant beast had just dug into him.

Merlin gasped in pain and blinked furiously as tears filled his eyes. He reached down expecting to feel the sticky wet of blood on his stomach but only felt the rough texture of his tunic.

Gulping air down, the pain subsided; he realized that Arthur was off his horse once more and by his side. He attempted to stand and Arthur helped pull him up. Merlin looked up at Arthur.

Arthur asked "You okay?" but Merlin wasn't sure.

He felt the claws dig into him once more and gasped collapsing into Arthur who carefully placed him back onto the ground.

The pain was too much from Merlin to focus on anything for too long but he felt Arthur check him for wounds, and upon finding none stepped back and looked around as if to get help.

Merlin curled himself up into the fetal position praying that the pain would stop. Before Merlin could tell him it was no good, his world turned to darkness.

Merlin could feel the beast inside of him. The creature was not a physical thing but it still gave Merlin serious physical pain. Although it had no physical body Merlin could imagine exactly was the thing looked like.

It was nasty and large; its movements were fluid and fast. It has large black wings and long sharp teeth. Merlin wondered how he could have such a vivid image of what the creature looked like if it wasn't a real physical thing.

The thing pawed his insides like he was nothing more than mossy tuffs to sharpen its claws on. Despite it's large intangible size it seemed to fit comfortable within Merlin and he thought it hateful.

Merlin, until then, could honestly say that he wasn't frightened, but in that moment dread came upon him that he could not hold back.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to reach in and pluck the beast from his chest. He didn't even know what it was, or how it found him, but it was there, and it was, with no uncertainty, up to no good.

For hours Arthur sat by Merlin's side and waited. The natural sounds of the forest had come back around the same time Merlin had collapsed screaming in pain. Concerned Arthur knew the best thing would be getting back to Camelot as soon as possible.

Confident in this, once Merlin had woken he said, "You're always such twitchy idiot. Come on. We need to get back to Camelot before tomorrow. I need to get back to my Queen and you need to see Gaius. Are you feeling alright?"

Merlin asked, "What was that?" And at first Arthur had thought Merlin had been joking earlier that day but realized that he was serious.

Something about the woods had done this. For the life of him, Arthur couldn't imagine why anyone, or anything would harm Merlin.

Certainly it was sorcery, no doubt, or something of that nature. What else could it be, to steal the sound of the woods, and cause his servant such agonizing pain?

Arthur looked around, a little helplessly, unsure of what to do when he heard the gasp from Merlin. Seeing Merlin fall to his knees Arthur's first instinct was to draw his swords.

The problem was, what was he to draw his sword on? Was he to fight thin air? There was nothing attacking Merlin. He hurried over to Merlin uncertain if he should help him up and onto the horse, or to force him to lie down.

Arthur had experienced many injuries. He had seen men, fierce knights, die in the most painful ways. Yet it was only in moments like these when he felt helpless.

Against magic, when the pain of another was something he could not help. It was something he had always envied Gaius for.

Somehow, it was worse when Merlin was hurt. It was as if Arthur could feel the edges of his pain. Even if Merlin was miles away from him, somehow Arthur could always sense that pain, and he always felt the need to fix it.

The pain was so awful that Merlin had passed out. Arthur set up camp knowing that they could get nowhere before nightfall. The ebbs of pain washed over him like the soft waves on a beach.

As Arthur stared into the fire he had created, he reflected on the first time he had felt this unusual pain. The poisoned challis, from the moment Merlin gasped for air Arthur felt his own breaths become shallower.

At the time it was strange and foreign and it was something that made Arthur felt as if the whole world was ever so slightly off balance. He had fought hard to get the flower. Yes, to save Merlin, the servant that had sacrificed himself for Arthur, but also to get back his equilibrium.

Now that off balance feeling was back. Arthur still didn't understand it, nor did he much enjoy it but he did depend on it.

Arthur knew that as long as Merlin was alive and well, that he was safe. Now, however, that was not the case -and although if asked later, Arthur would deny vehemently- he was worried.

Merlin was lying in the fetal position and his body was covered in sweat. Ever once in awhile Arthur would rest a small wet cloth to Merlin's forehead but it didn't seem to do him any good.

The longer Merlin was unconscious the more off kilter Arthur felt with the world. He was certain that if he were to get up and walk he would be walking at a ninety-degree angle.

"Come on Merlin." Arthur murmured as he stared into the fire pit.

The night passed slowly and Arthur couldn't sleep. Instead he continued to keep watch over the ever-dimming fire. In the earliest hours of the morning, however, he dozed off into a light sleep.

When he next woke, it was with a jolt. It felts as if he had been hooked from beneath his navel. He jumped to his feet, however, to see no one but Merlin, who was finally waking up.

**Mini edit correction of the spelling _Albion_ if there are any more spelling mistakes I missed please message me. My word tends to either 'correct it' wrong, or I end up being too blind to simply catch my stupid mistakes. Please, Thank you, and So sorry for the errors. **


	2. The Beast

**Quote Prompt from Method in Madness: "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." –Buddha**

**Disclaimer I do not own Merlin or any of the characters, storylines, or anything.**

**Chapter Two: The Beast**

Merlin was afraid.

He had little pain left but he knew that creature had great power. Every movement Merlin made, he felt the creature move inside him. Mimicking his every breath.

He sat up slowly and felt the beast inside twist and bend itself to accommodate the movement. Arthur, clearly just woken, asked him if he was well.

"I'm fine." Merlin murmured and was horrified to feel the beast there in his throat as well. Twisting in his mouth. Merlin wished he could spit the creature out and be done with it. "Soon as Gaius takes a look at me I'll be right as rain."

Merlin nodded as he forced himself to plaster a grin onto his face. Arthur, however, didn't look convinced. He frowned, but after a moment nodded. Yes getting to Gaius would be for the best.

"Well then. Let us make haste. We've been out far too long as it is. My queen will be waiting for her gift, and I'm certain Gwain is dying of curiosity." Arthur laughed.

Merlin had honestly forgotten the reason for their travels. Gwen was with child, and Arthur had been hell bent on getting her a gift to put the whole Kingdom in awe.

He nodded fervently, agreeing with Arthur, and felt the creature wriggle in his neck. He couldn't help but shiver at the feeling but tried his best to act naturally. Gaius would know what to do, how to get this _thing_ out of him. Merlin only knew that he had to hurry.

The creature may not be taking action yet, but Merlin knew that it was up to something. He could feel it in his bones.

The pair of them made haste to the castle and once they arrived the knight welcomed them. There was an announcement for the feast tomorrow night, both Merlin and Arthur had forgotten. It had even been Merlin's idea, before they had left on their trip.

Now that they were back, Merlin hurried to Gaius. After explaining the sensations he had experiences, and the creature he felt inside him Merlin was frustrated that all Gaius seemed to be able to do was nod.

"Well?" Merlin pressed, "What is it? How do I get rid of it?" Merlin asked and Gaius sighed.

"It's a rare magical creature, the Druids believe it to be as old as the earth itself. Many believe that this creature is the very last of it's kind. They feared to name it, and only called it the Inner Beast." He paused, "What is important is that you keep in control of the beast." He said carefully.

"It will try to take control Merlin. It can feel your thoughts, and your emotions. It senses your great power, and it can feel your destiny, and it feeds on all of a person's negative energy. Every bitter thought, every painful memory. If you let it take control it will devour your whole essence."

"But how do I get _rid of it_?" Merlin asked, his fear rising with his irritation. Gaius sighed.

"The only way I know of is to overcome your fears, to let go of the past, and to forgive any bitterness your heart may hold."

Merlin looked at Gaius skeptically, "Have you been taking riddle lessons from Kigharrah? You're not making much sense."

"I'm sorry Merlin. This is something that you have to figure out for yourself. There is little I can do." Gaius said helplessly.

Merlin felt a low growl grow in his throat and surprised he clasped his hands over his mouth.

"And quick." Gaius added frowning pitifully. Merlin jumped out of his seat and ran out of the chamber.

Merlin ran down the hall as fast as he could only to barrel headlong into a wall of chainmail. From the perspective of the castle floor Merlin could see, that the wall in question was Percival.

"In a bit of a hurry are well?" Percival grinned and Merlin nodded and returns the smile. He stood once more, however, against his will. It had happened so quickly he hardly had time to comprehend what was happening until he was on his feet again.

"Uh..yeah, Arthur can't last ten minutes without ordering me about." Merlin said sheepishly and Percival laughed and agreed.

"Well you best be on then."

"_Don't tell me what do to do_." Merlin said resentfully before blinking and coughing.

"What was that?" Percival said tilting his head, he look confused more than anything, as if he was wondering if he heard Merlin right.

"Er, I mean, yes, right. See you at the celebration." Merlin called and he began to run through the halls once more.

Growling and standing up without meaning two were small things, but it certainly proved that the creature was learning how best to take control of him. And what was that snappish comment all about? Merlin bit his lip and tried his best to put it out of his mind.

He would take care of it after the party.

It seemed, however, that he was destined to run into far too many knights as he made his way through the castle. It was as if around every corner one of them was waiting.

Gwain made jokes about the food that would be served. Merlin felt the urge to yell at Gwain. _It was all Gwain's fault that everyone always looked at Merlin as nothing more than a joke._

Elyan wanted to question Merlin on the gift Arthur was planning for Gwen. Merlin bit back the need to roll his eyes and make a bitter comment about _the fact that he wasn't any of the knights lackey, or the King's either for that matter._

Lancelot asked him if their travels had gone smoothly, after noticing that Merlin had gone to see Gaius. _What did Lancelot care? He had abandoned Merlin. For years he hadn't been there. What sort of friend was he?_

Leon had been the last knight Merlin had bumped into.

"Hullo" Leon smiled, at this point Merlin felt exhausted. It was as if each knight was draining his energy from him. He knew this wasn't true, and that it was the creature, but he couldn't help but feel to blame the knights.

"Oh. Leon. Hi." Merlin tried to smile, only to realize that he could not.

"Something the matter?"

"What? No? Everything's fine. Great, really." He shuffled from foot to foot, he tried to smile again, "why do you ask?"

"You look…" Leon started, "I dunno." He seemed to struggle with his answer, "I suppose it's because you don't seem as happy as your usual self." He finally admitted. _Right, because good old Merlin was the court jester._

"Oh I'm just a bit tired is all." Merlin said the first thing that popped into his head and was a little worried that it might not have been entirely his own idea.

Merlin could tell Leon was about to say something else so he added, "look, I'd love to stay and chat but Arthur's got to prepare for tonight and you know he can't even dress himself properly without my help." Merlin blurted out and ran off. Not daring to turn around.

He arrived at Arthur's chambers only to think that perhaps this was exactly where he shouldn't be.

"Did Gaius check you out alright?" Arthur asked as he stepped behind the changing screen.

"Oh yeah. He said it was a bit of an unusual fever. Gave me a bit of medicine to make sure it stayed down. I'm fine now." Merlin said faster than he meant to.

"Well then I don't know why it took you so long." Arthur drawled.

For the next two hours Merlin felt fine. He even felt as if he were gaining more power and control of this mysterious creature inside of him.

The celebration was an entirely different story. The chaos caused by the music and the dancing. The laughing, and the talking, caused Merlin to feel overwhelmed. Still he did his best to focus on keeping Arthur's goblet and plate full.

The party itself was going great until an evil sorcerer determined to end the line of Pendragon inevitably interrupted it.

Honestly at this point Merlin couldn't even say he was surprised. He wondered if they would ever get the hint that Camelot was protected.

The first hints of an attack were hardly noticed by the partygoers. The windows of the hall blackened. Merlin felt his hands and feet tingle with magic. He looked around but the people of the hall continued dancing and laughing.

Merlin began to move, looking for the cause of the magical disruption. The hall filled with smoke. Finally the hall began to quiet. This sorcerer sure was dramatic, Merlin thought. "Well he's got their attention." He muttered squinting into the fog trying to find anything out of the ordinary.

It was at that moment when a large bolt of lightening struck down in the center of the hall with a loud clap of thunder. Merlin stilled and focused, thinking of the best way to defeat this wizard.

The man reached out to attack the Pendragon family.

Frustrated Merlin knew he'd have to subtly stop the sorcerer, however the burst of energy that came out of him was not subtle in the least.

He had meant only to throw the villain back into the wall. However the creature inside of him leapt at the small surge of power. It latched itself onto the magic. Merlin could almost imagine the beast sinking its teeth into the magic.

It felt as if it had taken a small hole in a fabric and tore it in two. Shocked and unprepared Merlin was thrown back and into a pillar. Likewise it not only hit the target but also killed the sorcerer, crushing the man's head against the wall.

Gasping Merlin struggled to move but felt that he could not. The yellow glow that usually would warm his eyes as he preformed magic was now glowing throughout his body.

The creature pinned him to the stone floor. Merlin could almost see the beast before him. The large scaly snout and shaggy fur, it was a cross between a dog and a deformed dragon, massive and snarling.

Merlin wanted to scream in fear but could not. He wanted to stop the magic for pouring out of him but could not. He felt as if he were going to explode.

It felt like hours, but was more like a couple of minutes before Merlin could move again and that the magic had stopped.

He heaved deep breaths and as he gained control of himself once more sat up slowly only to see the entire hall staring at him uncertainly. He had just preformed magic in front of everyone.

_They knew. The King was going to kill him. _And Merlin knew for certain this was the creature. Calling Arthur 'the king' was something Merlin would only do to save face in front of strangers or nobles. But Merlin's heart filled with doubt and dread uncertain of what was going to happen.

The knights all stood their hands on their swords as if prepared to draw them, but none had done so yet. Arthur stood at the front table looking at Merlin in a way that Merlin could not comprehend.

Was that fear? Or rage? Perhaps he shared the same uncertainty Merlin was feeling., but Merlin forced himself to focused. He let his frustration solidify him.

"No." Merlin growled to himself, "Not like this. Not now." He fought against his Inner Beast, in a battle he was unwilling to lose. He gritted his teeth and threw his head back arching his spine screaming, as he fought the beast inside.

His leg kicked out involuntarily and that was all that was needed. He lost control, and consciousness and the beast took over. All Merlin felt was terror.


	3. Truth

**Wow so apparently people actually like my story! Thank you so much for the support. This pleases me greatly (I honestly expected to get a lot of slack since this is my first fanfic.)**

**Quote Prompt from Method in Madness: "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." –Buddha**

**Disclaimer I do not own Merlin or any of the characters, storylines, or anything.**

**"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do." – Anonymous**

**Chapter Three: Trust**

What Arthur saw was something he couldn't believe. Or perhaps it was that he just didn't understand. Merlin seemed fit to burst from the explosion of magic.

Confusion and bewilderment caused him to stumble forward. Quickly, however, he remembered himself and tried his best to remove concern from his face.

Lancelot hadn't hesitated, instead he had rushed forward to try and help Merlin.

Arthur felt as if his whole world was upside down. Whatever had been wrong with Merlin was _not _a fever, and whatever it was, it was killing him.

Arthur could sense the other knight's eyes flicker between him and Merlin they were waiting for orders. No one seemed certain of what was going on. Many of them had their swords out and pointed at Merlin but they waited for orders.

Was this Merlin or was this part of the sorcery that had hurt Merlin before? Arthur hesitated. But Merlin's agonizing screams rang out throughout the hall and Arthur felt as though he could feel it inside of his head. He made his decision.

"Arrest him." Commanded the King, and the knights obeyed, as wary as any of them may have been of what the magic would do to them, they obeyed.

Although the magic lashed out it didn't harm anyone. The knights arrested him with little trouble once they were able to pin him down and stop his body from jerking violently.

In less than an hour Merlin was bound in chains in the dungeon. His body still thrashed about and the shouts that came from his lips were more like the roar of a lion.

It wasn't until Gaius offered to give Merlin a potion to put him to sleep that he was silenced. Even so, the pain on Merlin's face was apparent.

"What is going on Gaius? He told me you said it was just a fever, but this has to do with what happened in the woods isn't it?" Arthur demanded pacing in the halls of the dungeon his arms crossed over his chest.

"All that magic. That sorcerer attacked him didn't they? What happened to him?" Arthur continued trying to understand what was happening.

Gaius raised a quizzical brow before he slowly started, "No, it's not to do with that sorcerer. It's something that Merlin has to deal with on his own."

"Just tell me what's going on!" Arthur demanded,

"Hey, calm down princess. We're all worried about Merlin here." Gwain stepped between the two of them,

"I'm sure if we're all calm we can figure this out." Lancelot nodded, "Obviously whatever happened in there wasn't Merlin's doing." He said looking purposefully at Gaius. "Arthur's right, something must have happened in the woods, soon as we figure out what, we can untangle this mess."

"Gaius, certainly you must know something?" Leon ventured, "He's been acting odd ever since he got back."

The knights and Arthur stared expectantly at Gaius, waiting to hear what he might have to say.

"There is nothing I can do. Merlin is struggling with a creature inside of him." Gaius repeated what he had told Merlin.

"A creature _inside_ of him? Gross." Elyan shivered.

"What does that mean, though? What is it exactly? What does it want with Merlin?" Lancelot asked his brows knitted together in confusion.

Gaius sighed and tried his best to repeat it the same way he had told Merlin. "It's a creature the Druids fear above all others, and it's the last of its kind. It lives inside a person and take power from them."

"What like a dragon that get inside people or something?" Gwain asked frowning, trying to understand the concept.

"The creature is considered a relative of the dragon, yes. Much like a dog is like a wolf." Gaius nodded, "or a cat is to a panther"

"So is this creature the cat or the panther?" Percival asked.

"Panther, obviously." Elyan rolled his eyes, and received a sharp punch from Percival in his side causing him to double over.

"And what's it called, this creature?" Leon asked.

"There is great power to be said in a name." Gaius ventured, "The Druids feared it greatly, and only called it the Inner Beast."

"That sounds pretty serious." Arthur said softly and many of the knights jumped, they had almost forgotten Arthur was there he had stayed so quiet.

"Indeed, sire. Most certainly." Gaius said sorrowfully.

"So…Why Merlin?" Lancelot asked again, "Arthur was there too, right? And this creature, it must be invisible to both of them. It chose Merlin for a reason. Why?"

"Because he was weaker?" Percival suggested, but Lancelot shook his head,

"No way. Merlin might be physically weaker, but what does physical strength have to do with a person's insides? Anyway the creature was invisible it could have attack anyone with a clear advantage." Lancelot pointed out.

Gaius nodded in agreement, "You're correct in your reasoning." He sighed, "The beast feeds off pain and negative energy. I imagine the luxurious life of Prince was not as tantalizing to the creature as Merlin's…history was."

"…Oh." This seemed enough to satisfy Lancelot but only raised curiosity in others.

"What history?" Arthur frowned.

"It's not my place to say." Gaius said quickly and glanced over at Lancelot who nodded.

"Oh come on, what sort of history could he possibly have that could be so bad to attract a creature like that?" Arthur demanded.

"Yes, he always so happy and goofy. Merlin, of all people, does not have negative energy." Leon asserted, "He's the happiest person we know."

"The loneliest people are the kindest." Elyan started softly, "The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest." He paused looking up at the other knights before finally finishing, "all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."

All the knights looked over at Elyan surprised. "Wow that's deep" Percival mused nodding slowly.

"What can we do?" Gwain asked ignoring the others, "How can we help him with this? You said it feeds off negative energy, is there a way to stop that? Or to… Oh I don't know, replace it with more positive energy?"

Gaius shrugged, "I cannot say for sure. It is an internal battle he fights and he keeps to himself so much it will be a challenge for him to open up to anyone. Merlin does not entrust his heart to others easily."

It was then that they heard a soft groan from the corner of the cell where Merlin was chained.

"We'll it's certainly worth a try." Percival said, and the others agreed.

"It's best if there aren't so many here to speak with him." Gaius said stepping back, "We don't want to overwhelm him any more than he already is."

"Right like waking up in chain will help." Leon murmured but exited the dungeon followed by Gaius, Elyan, Percival, and Gwain.

Arthur and Lancelot stared at each other, silently arguing over whom would speak to Merlin first.

"Sire, I know you're worried about him but please. Let me speak to him first." Lancelot finally begged, "I know him, I know what he needs to hear first." Lancelot said firmly and finally Arthur sighed and stepped back,

"I'll be waiting right outside the doors then." Arthur said.

When Merlin woke he first noticed that he felt himself in control once more, the second thing he noticed was that he was chained, and it was dark, damp, and cold where he lay.

Slowly he sat up knowing exactly where he was.

Arthur knew. He knew and he had imprisoned Merlin. This was it; death was on its way. Merlin groaned, but couldn't help feeling slightly relieved.

He wasn't sure if it was because Arthur knew his secret, or if he knew that the beast would die with him. Either way, Merlin couldn't help but chuckle.

"Sounds like a bit of Gallows humor." A voice called from the shadows and Merlin jumped. Opening his eyes he saw Lancelot step into his cell.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Merlin asked jerking his head to the iron bar door. Lancelot smiled.

"You're not going to die Merlin." He shook his head, "and Arthur doesn't know about your magic." He reassured with a soft smile.

"But." Merlin looked down at the chains, "The magic…the sorcerer…" Merlin gestured as best as he could with his bound wrists.

"They think it's that thing inside of you. Arthur said he knew something was wrong when you woke up in the woods…something about unbalanced." Lancelot shrugged. "Thankfully I was able to convince him I need to talk to you first before he did, but you still need to tell him."

"I can't." Merlin blinked,

"You have to. This beast is eating you alive because of it and you know it."

Merlin looked away and instead stared intently into an empty corner of the cell.

"Merlin, I know it's killing you inside, even without that monster, for him not to know." Lancelot leaned down so he was eye to eye with Merlin.

"Tell him." Lancelot place a hand on Merlin's shoulder, "everything." With that Merlin slumped forward, he was quiet for a moment, before a familiar growl grew in his throat.

"I hate you." Merlin said through gritted teeth, "You abandoned me. You knew my secret and you left me alone in this nightmare. I thought you were my friend."

"Merlin-" Lancelot was taken aback, "Merlin, this is just the Beast talking. You know I'm your friend. You know I had no choice. Uther had me banished. I had to leave."

Merlin turned away as best as he could, "You were supposed to be here." Merlin buried his head in his arms.

"Merlin, I wasn't there, I know, and I'm sorry. But I'm here now." Lancelot said calmly, "I'm here now, and I'm not going to leave ever again. I promise. You're like a brother to me, and we'll stick together all the way to the very end."

Merlin glanced up again taking deep breaths, he shook his head, "I'm sorry. I'm fine." He smiled gingerly, " It's this thing inside me." He said softly, "Makes me say all sorts of crazy things. I'm fine." He shrugged and nodded as he calmed down.

Lancelot sighed, "Alright Merlin." He smiled, "but know" he said with purpose, "that everything I just said. I meant it." He stared directly at Merlin, without blinking until Merlin smiled and laughed sheepishly.

"Alright." Merlin said.

"We only kept the chains on just in case that little monster gets out of control but maybe I can convince Arthur that it's okay to take them off for awhile." Lancelot said as he stood back up.

"That would be great." Merlin smiled, but paused looking around, "but maybe it's safer it I stay down here."

"If you think that's best," Lancelot agreed, "but the chains aren't much use are they? You'd be able to take them off on your own anyway. The only thing they are is a bit uncomfortable. Yeah?" He laughed and Merlin joined in.

"I suppose our noble King is getting a bit impatient." Lancelot sighed, "I should let him in. Remember what I said about telling him." He said on his way out of the cell.

"But-" Merlin started,

"No buts Merlin." Lancelot said without turning around, "You're the bravest of us all, you just gotta believe it yourself." He stopped as he opened the door, turned around and added, "good luck."

Lancelot walked out then and moments later Arthur walked in. He coughed awkwardly.

"Hullo Arthur." Merlin said and grinned at him, "Sorry about the party."

"Yeah, well it took a lot of work to stop the guests from panicking, and the whole gift surprise was completely ruined. Once this whole ordeal is over with you can plan on polishing ever surface of this castle." Arthur said with a curt nod before smiling.

"But how are you doing?" He asked more seriously. Merlin shrugged and felt the fear curl up inside of him as sharp claws dug into his stomach.

"I'd feel better if I wasn't so tied up. D'ya mind?" Merlin asked. Arthur hesitated before reaching forward and unlocking the chains. Merlin stretched out like a cat and yawned.

"So I s'ppose you wanna talk to me about what happened." Merlin muttered.

"Oh well, you know, Gaius told us about that Beast thing." Arthur nodded, "He mentioned something about a negative past or something?"

Merlin nodded glumly.

"Listen, Merlin." Arthur sighed and leaned against the wall, "I don't know what the hell you've gone through to warrant an attack from some creature as awful as this one, but you should let us help."

"Why so you all can laugh at me? Call me an idiot some more?" Merlin spat and his voice roared and Merlin felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes.

"You're no idiot Merlin." Arthur pushed himself off the wall and stepped closer to Merlin. "You know I don't mean that. I'm just joking. We always joke like that." Arthur said looking for the right words to say.

"You know, you call me a clot-pole and a prat, and, oh and a dollophead. I call you an idiot we laugh, it's not…I mean…you don't mean those things do you?"

"No." Merlin shook his head, "Course not." He rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes removing the tears.

"I trust you Merlin, you know that, I've shared things with you that I haven't shared with anyone else. I wish you would trust me."

It was quiet in the cells for a few minutes before Merlin slowly began to stand up.

"I'd give my life for you Arthur." He said as he dusted himself off, "You know I'm loyal to you."

"Yes-" Arthur started but Merlin held up a hand to silence him.

"I'd want to tell you a story." Merlin said, he looked almost pained as he said it, "But you have to promise me that you won't interrupt." At this Arthur nodded slowly but Merlin continued.

"It's a painful story, and a long one. If I'm stopped, the creature might…it might take its chance, but Lancelot thinks it's the only way I can be free of it. If you trust me-"

"I do Merlin." Arthur put his hand on Merlin's shoulder, "if it's going to be a long story then we best go someplace to sit down."

"No." Merlin said quickly, looking a little frightened, "I need to stay…what if I loose control. I mean…"

"Merlin. I trust you. Now come on." Arthur led him out of the dungeons.


	4. The Story

So sorry guys. A lot has happened these past couple weeks. I started classes again, I got a boyfriend (which is super exciting!) I also wrecked my motor scooter. My right hand is in a great deal of pain but I had some free time so I knew I needed to update. I'm so sorry it took so long.

Quote Prompt from Method in Madness: "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." –Buddha

Disclaimer I do not own Merlin or any of the characters, storylines, or anything.

Chapter Four: The Story

Arthur, for a reason he couldn't describe was filled with anticipation. He sat on his throne in front of the round table. Merlin sat to his right hand side and the other select few knights were permitted to join them at the table. Gaius, too, was invited to sit with them.

Arthur had made a point in telling Merlin that if he didn't want one of them to be there, that they would be asked to leave. Merlin, however, seemed to prefer the idea of his closest friends hearing all of this.

The hall was silent for nearly half an hour as they waited for Merlin to start.

"Lancelot, Gaius." Merlin finally started, "You two know most of what I'm about to tell. I appreciate your support." The two bowed their heads to Merlin and Lancelot smiled encouragingly.

"I suppose I should start with my linage." Merlin sighed, "You all have met my mother Hunith. As for my father, well Arthur, you were the only one other than Gaius to know my father."

"I don't recall-" Arthur started but Merlin gave him a stern look. Arthur, did something that was very unlike himself, and closed his mouth and allowed Merlin to speak once more.

Merlin continued, "My father was Balinor, often addressed as the last Dragonlord. He died shortly after the Great Dragon had been released. He had fled from Camalot during the great purge; thanks to Gaius' help Balinor and my mother were able to escape to Ealdor. To protect my mother Balinor had gone into hiding. He didn't even know I existed."

Merlin's head bowed forward and Gwain, who was on Merlin's other side, reached over and rubbed his back, patting him briefly on the shoulder. Merlin sat up slowly he wiped his nose. He nodded once more and smiled briefly.

"I was born, a little smaller than most babies, but strong and healthy. My mother said that at the moment of my birth a Merlin flew into our hut and landed next to me, and stayed there for hours not allowing anyone to come near me or my mother."

Merlin laughed, "you all are probably asking yourselves what any of this has to do with that negative past this creature is so allured to." Merlin shook his head, "Well, when I was born I wasn't normal. I had gold eyes and my whole body glowed."

"For fear of being discovered and Uther's wrath my mother would not leave the hut nor would she let anyone in. It was too dangerous."

"I could move things with my mind before I could walk. I could feel the world move beneath my feet before I understood what magic really was. Ever since then I've been able to feel it inside of me like a fire that can't be put out."

"You have magic! I knew it!" Gwain said excitedly.

Merlin sighed even confessing this terrified him. He looked up worriedly at Arthur, who was currently staring sternly at Merlin. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed tight. Merlin could almost hear Arthur's heart racing in his chest as fear and confusion and hurt shifted in Arthur's eyes.

Even so Arthur remained silent. He made no movement to stop Merlin from continuing his story.

The beast coiled around Merlin's magic and he felt it waver inside of him. He hated the feeling; he hated being afraid to use his magic. He hated being afraid, period. He gritted his teeth and stood up. The others jumped in surprise at his sudden movement and slowly Arthur mirrored Merlin's movement, jumping to his feet in almost the same instant.

"What are you doing?" Arthur frowned, concerned. The many of the knights tentatively had their hands on their swords.

Merlin took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and released his breath. Gold smoke fled from his lips like smoke from a pipe.

"I can't tell you this." Merlin finally sighed, "I can't sit through this."

"Merlin, you must." Lancelot stood trying to coax Merlin to sit back down but Merlin shook his head.

"No." He turned to face Arthur, "With your permission sire I'd prefer to show you."

This received a snort from the king. "Sire?" Since when have you ever used that term without mocking me? And asking for permission?" He frowned searing Merlin's face, "What have you got up your sleeve?"

"With all your magic tricks who knows what you could do." Gwain laughed, he said this not meaning to be hurtful but still Merlin felt the sting of pain and felt the beast stretch out absorbing the pain, reveling in it.

"Mmm. That's right. Magic tricks." Arthur nodded thoughtfully looking away from Merlin. Merlin wanted to say something but wasn't sure of what words to best use. To apologize or to explain, nothing seemed adequate.

"Alright Merlin. Show me some magic." Arthur agreed finally. Merlin nodded and turned to the other knights at the table.

"If you guys don't mind standing, I'll move the table for more space." Merlin smiled a confused the knights stood and stepped away from the table.

Without words Merlin lifted the table and floated it to the other end of the hall.

"That's impressive." Leon murmured.

"That's child's play compared to what I've seen." Lancelot admitted but still grinned.

"What have you seen?" Gwain asked leaning forward.

"Guys!" Merlin called over them. They quieted and Merlin took a deep breath. "Mecum ad vitam inducam" Merlin spoke softly but before their eyes the hall transformed.

They were in the courtyard where Merlin have see his first execution in Camelot, and first witnessed the Kings cruelty.

"That's my father." Arthur said softly frowning as he stared up him.

"That's you." Leon pointed out as well.

"And there's Morgana." Lancelot sighed and shook his head.

"Merlin why are you showing us this? It's just another execution." Arthur shrugged.

"It was my first day in Camelot. Actually, it was my first real experience in Camelot. I watched someone of my own kind die. " Merlin said stepping closer to the execution block. "The mother reminded me so much of my own. The pain of watching your child being murdered." Merlin shook his head, "I can't imagine."

He didn't want to watch the man die again, "Here let's move on." Merlin walked them through his first encounter with Gaius and Gwen, and even Arthur. The knights laughed and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Quite full of yourself aren't you princess." Gwain snorted, and Arthur said something about having had grown up since then.

Merlin then led them to argument with Gaius.

"_How could you be so foolish?" _Merlin glanced over to Gaius who was nodding, and agreeing with younger self.

"_He needed to be taught a lesson." _Gwain and some of the other knights couldn't help but laugh and mutter in agreement but Arthur didn't seem to notice or if he did, he didn't care. Instead he was walking around the younger Merlin as if looking for something. _  
__"Magic must be studied, mastered, and used for good! Not for idiotic pranks!" __  
__"What is there to master? I could move objects like that before I could talk!" _Arthur half nodded to this, apparently remembering what Merlin had said to him earlier. _  
__"Then, by now, you should know how to control yourself!" _Lancelot smiled sheepishly at Merlin who only shrugged helplessly and Lancelot muttered something about missing that carelessness Merlin once had. _  
__"I don't want to! If I can't use magic, what have I got?! I'm just a nobody, and I always will be. If I can't use magic, I might as well die." _ With this the memory faded into darkness.

"Well. Is that it?" Leon asked looking around as the details from the memory faded into black. "How do we get out of this?"

"It's not over yet. Sorry." Merlin took a deep breath. "I've just got to concentrate. It hurts." Merlin rubbed his chest a little before reaching out his hand. He closed his eyes and when he opened them once more a new world burst into color around them.

"This is strange how does this work?" Elyan asked.

"You're inside of my head…Sort of, I mean your physical bodies are still standing around in the hall but you're here inside of my head." Merlin shrugged, "it's easier done than said and it's bloody hard to do." He shook his head and for the first time Arthur noticed he was sweating.

They were in Arthur's chambers for the next memory. Arthur was shouting at Merlin about humiliating him. The memory faded quickly though and already they were moving on to the next moment of Merlin's life.

The next memory they watched as Merlin swallowed down the poison. Even at that moment Arthur wanted to rush forward and knock the goblet from Merlin's lips but he did not move. He knew it would make no difference. This was the past.

"You were unconscious for everything that happened here though." Arthur sighed rubbing his temples. He was starting to feel dizzy. "What has this got to do with negative energy stuff?" He asked with a sigh.

"You nearly died. Even after I risked my life you almost died." Merlin swiped his hand and the memory speed forward. The light was helping Arthur through the darkness and chasing away the creatures.

"Useless." Merlin muttered bitterly,

"Hey!" Arthur objected, "That bloody flower was a nightmare to get to, and if it weren't for me-"

"If it were for me you would have died getting that stupid flower." Merlin objected, "If I hadn't given you that light you would have either fallen or been eaten by those creatures." Merlin asserted. "It's always like this. I always have to come in, even if I'm too busy dying, jut to save your life. Why? Because you can't just stay safe for five minutes."

Arthur stared at Merlin dumbstruck. "That light was you?" Arthur asked and turned to look at the memory again as he watched himself follow the light up the wall.

The memory turned to black once more. When it returned it was the unicorn and Arthur groaned. "Not this."

"This? What's this?" Gwain asked curiously, "You killed a unicorn? For shame Arthur!"

"I didn't know. Alright?" Arthur defended himself and Merlin rolled his eyes,

"I tried to stop him." Merlin asserted, "but no, and then he had to prove himself. Not much I could do but call him an idiot." Merlin added under his breath.

"I heard that." Arthur said not looking over at Merlin but instead staring at what was now a massive maze that filled the entire hall.

"So obviously he did or else Camelot wouldn't still be standing." Elyan said slowly, "What did he do?"

"He did the most stupid thing he could think of." Merlin said and with a swipe of his hand he showed the two of them sitting at the table by the beach to goblets before them.

"How romantic." Gwain snickered and the knights laughed.

"You think this is bad." Merlin couldn't help but join in in the laughter.

"Oh wait. What did he just say? I missed it, I was laughing too hard." Percival said gasping for air between bursts of laughter.

"Something about the fact that one of the two goblets are poisoned. Both must be completely drunk. I had to figure out which one it was and make my decision." Arthur said as he walked around the table that his younger self sat at.

They all watched the next few moments in silence. It wasn't until Arthur grabbed the goblet and drank it completely that the room burst out with shouts from the knights.

"Are you crazy!" Leon demanded,

"He must be." Percival shook his head.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Elyan demanded, and they all continued to shout at him overpowering the sounds of the memory that immediately began to fade into blackness.

Merlin doubled over in pain and Arthur felt as if the wind was knocked out of him. He forgot about the knights, and their yells of bewilderment and instead did his best to run towards Merlin.

He stumbled the last few feet, and felt clumsier than he had ever felt in his entire life.

"Merlin!" he reached a hand out to grab Merlin's shoulder but it went through Merlin's body. "What the…" Arthur looked down at his hand and found that he was transparent. He looked back at the other knights and they too were fading.

The world around them was completely black. The floor beneath their feet trembled and Arthur jumped to his feet.

"Merlin!" Arthur hissed, "Get up. I know you're in pain, but you have to get up." Merlin didn't move and the trembling worsened.

In the pit of Arthur's stomach he felt dread and the presences of something ominous and in the next instant he saw what it was that caused him to feel this way.

The Beast loomed over the knights like a giant, three times the size of the dragon, its body was covered in scales and furs mixed together like a patched mutt. Gigantic fangs jutted from it's snarling mouth, which was filled with pointy teeth. It's big yellow eyes glared down at them as it licked its lips with anticipation.

"Merlin." Arthur said as he withdrew his sword, more out of impulse than actually believing that he could cut through the beast.

"Merlin, I'm not angry with you." Arthur said calmly, "You have magic, I understand why you didn't tell me. I admit it hurts that you didn't tell me but Merlin I trust you. Alright? So I need you to get up right now. I need you to get us out of here."

Gaius had said nothing this whole time. Instead he had only kept his eyes on Merlin, until the creature appeared; now his eyes were fixated on the Beast.

The knights had all drawn their swords and took a battle stance. "Uh, Arthur. Any ideas?" Elyan asked giving a small glance back at Arthur and Merlin. Arthur shook his head.

"One but it's mad." He muttered, "that creature isn't going to be felled by swords. Gaius, you said it yourself it feeds off of negative energy, the more energy it gets the stronger it is. Right?"

Gaius nodded, "That is correct Sire. What do you suggest?"

"We have to convince Merlin that he needs to release the negative energy. He's obviously filled with too much of it to let in anything positive get to him." Arthur tried to explain, "He's not the Merlin he used to be. We have to remind him."

"I think I know where you're going with this." Lancelot nodded slowly. He glanced warily at the Beast before dropping his sword.

"Alright Merlin. I trust you." He shouted. Arthur followed dropping his sword, "As do I." He said firmly. The other knights looked less certain but the followed suit.

Merlin was still crumpled on the ground but he was rocking back and fourth on the floor.

"Merlin, I'm going to tell you something I've never mentioned to anyone before." Arthur said and he licked his lips.

"From the very beginning I knew we were connected Merlin. I knew you were different from the rest of the world even if I didn't know how or why." He stepped closer.

"This pain you're feeling. I can feel it too. It hurts me too Merlin. Every time you've ever been injured I've know something was wrong. I get this feeling like I'm sick. I get dizzy and everything is crooked and off balanced. It's hard to breath and it's even harder to think." Arthur said and he saw Merlin struggled to look up at him.

Tears were streaming down Merlin's face and he looked confused as he looked up at Arthur. "I know you've felt it too, but I also know now, that with your magic you've been trying so hard to keep it from me." Arthur said annoyed and the two of them stared at each other.

"I want you to stop." Arthur said sternly. "Stop it right now." Merlin shook his head and softly whispered,

"I can't."

"Yes you can. And you know what? I want you to do more than that. I want you to give all of it to me."

"Arthur, are you crazy?" Elyan said from behind him but Arthur wouldn't turn around.

"This is the poison all over again." Percival groaned, "You're King Arthur, you can't do this."

"Merlin." Arthur said not paying attention to the others, "I trust you. Now, give me the pain. Share these memories so I can help you get rid of the Beast." He held out his hand and for a moment was afraid that Merlin would not take it but when he was just about to give up and try another tactic Merlin reached up and grasped it.

As he stands the two exchanged a look before Arthur nods to Merlin, slowly he returns the nod, "I'm ready." Arthur muttered and Merlin closed his eyes and exhaled. As he did Arthur felt each emotion flood into his body.

The world around them shifted but this time it was in fast blurs. Arthur saw people he had never met before, but still somehow he recognized them through Merlin.

He saw Freya and felt his heart break as Merlin's had. He saw Balinor and this time recognized him as Merlin's father and felt his heavy with the grief. So many people had died that were so close to Merlin, who Merlin had cared so much for.

He saw Morgana through Merlin's eyes, and the guilt he felt for what she had become.

He saw Merlin disguised as Dragoon the Great and felt the confusion, panic, and pain Merlin felt when the healing spell had failed.

Lastly he saw Merlin as the powerful warlock that the Druids had spoke of. He heard the Great Dragon speak inside of his head,

"_You are the one's the Druids speak of. You have been prophesied since the beginning of time. You are Emrys and you are destined to protect the once and future king who is destined to unite Albany and return magic to the land and you are the last Dragonlord."_ These words echoed in Arthur's head, and multiplied into what Arthur imagined was hundreds of voices.

Mecum ad vitam inducam = Latin: Bring me to life.


	5. The Morning After

Quote Prompt from Method in Madness: "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." –Buddha

Disclaimer I do not own Merlin or any of the characters, storylines, or anything.

Chapter five: The Morning After

Arthur woke with a throbbing pain in his head and his whole body inflamed. He groaned and rolled over pressing his face into his pillow. It was only then that he realized that he was in bed and had no memory of how he got there.

He blinked and sat up gingerly looking around.

"G'morning sunshine." Gwain was leaning back in Arthur's desk chair, his feet propped up on the table.

"What are you doing in my room?" Arthur asked frowning, "And what the hell happened?"

Gwain shrugged and smiled taking a bite out of an apple. "You swooned and fainted like a little girl when you got to the memory of Merlin throwing himself at the Dhoracha."

Arthur groaned as he remembered. "That was awful." He grumbled. "The worst." The he dropped back onto his bed, "no, it was the serkets. That was the worst." He groaned and rolled onto his stomach once more.

"The serkets? I don't think we saw that memory." Gwain frowned and Arthur Grimaced as he got up and out of bed.

"There wasn't much of one. Just the pain." Arthur sighed and rubbed the back of his neck and remembered the time Merlin had been forced to attempt to kill him. "How's Merlin? Where is he?" Arthur asked.

"You've been unconscious for three days now." Gwain said pushing his feet off the table, "Merlin's all guilty, he got himself busy running errands. The knights are all taking turns spending time with him. Getting him to talk on a more personal level." Gwain explained.

"He's alright though?" Arthur asked cautiously and Gwain nodded, "sure, sure, better than he has been anyway. Hey are you really alright with him having magic?" Gwain asked grinning.

Arthur shrugged, "dunno." He muttered, "Guess I always suspected something was up." Arthur reached over and grabbed an apple for himself.

"Doesn't matter. It's something I've got to accept. It's not like I can live without him now can I?"

"Guess not." Gwain agreed, "So Merlin's obviously not going to be executed for his magic."

"Of course not." Arthur said almost surprised Gwain would bring it up,

"But you're the King and that is the law." Gwain added a small grin growing on his face.

"Not for much longer." Arthur said as he clumsily dressed himself. "Where is Gwen?" He asked changing the subject.

Gwain failed to reply, Arthur glared at him, "Gwain?"

"Yes princess?"

"Where is Gwen?" He asked again and noticed Gwain avoiding his eyes.

"She's….resting." Gwain said carefully, he had dropped the apple core back onto the table and was looking out the window now.

"Resting? Resting from what?" Arthur asked frowning and Gwain sighed.

"Gwain, is she alright?"

"She's fine, yes." Gwain said softly, "Look, Arthur, I'm sorry but she, she lost the baby."

"What?" Arthur froze and he felt his heart drop in his chest. No, he must have heard that wrong.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you right away. They wanted you to recover first. I'm sorry. Listen, Gwen's going to be alright."

"The baby? Its—its dead?" Arthur mouth was dry and he felt the world swim before him. He was going to be sick he felt his knees knock together before his legs buckled underneath him.

The door of his room burst open. "Idiot." He heard a familiar voice,

"I told you not to tell him right away." He heard Merlin shout at Gwain. Arthur felt a hand grab his arm to help him back to his feet.

"How the hell did you get here so fast?" Gwain said impressed and Arthur just wanted to scream but when he opened his mouth no sound escaped. Instead he began to weep.

"Arthur." Merlin repeated helping him up and sat him on the bed. Arthur shook his head as tears continued to stream down his face.

"Where's Gwen? I want to talk with her." Arthur final choked out after a few moments of struggling to retain his composure. Tears continued to stream down his face but he worked furiously to wipe them away.

"What the hell happened?" He demanded standing back up on his own two feet. "Why the hell did this happen?"

"Arthur, don't be a prat, please. Just listen to me." Merlin said calmly. "I can explain."

"Well then why don't you already? Why didn't you do something about it?" Arthur demanded and immediately regretted it. Merlin's face crumpled in pain and Arthur knew he had caused a deep pain within Merlin.

"I tried Arthur but the power of life and death is not something to trifled with. The infant was destined to die. To make it live I would have had to take a life of another. I wasn't about to let you make the same mistake you're father had in having you."

"Oh so now I was a mistake?" Arthur demanded,

"No Arthur, you were a deliberate decision that results in your mother's death." Merlin sighed.

"Now, if you can please calm down we can talk about what's going to happen."

"Tell me what happened." Arthur said trying to calm down. Merlin closed his eyes for a moment before opening them once more,

"When I transferred my magical energy to you like you asked, so you could see and feel everything….I lost control of my magic powers. I usually keep a gate on it like I do on my emotions. The loss of control was even too much for the Beast. It gorged itself and lashed out before collapsing back inside of me."

"Lashed out?" Arthur asked and Merlin nodded.

"It attacked the vulnerable. A few of the knights got small cuts, Gaius was injured pretty badly, and the infant wasn't strong enough. I tried to use my magic to protect it but the Beast had feed on too much of it. It consumed the baby's life force and exhausted Gwen of all her energy."

"I'm sorry Arthur." Merlin said softly after a moment of silence, "but this isn't over yet okay. I'm going to fix everything. I promise." Arthur couldn't help but give a small laugh.

"You always try to fix things." He said, "and you make a mess of things."

"Yes, but I fix them in the end don't I?" Merlin reassured. Arthur sighed,

"Most of the time. At least for me you do." Arthur admitted, and Merlin smiled,

"Well I'm going to do it again."

"Merlin!"

"…Arthur?"

"Shut up." Arthur said and walked out of the room and down the hall quickly. He did want things to be fixed. Desperately. He wanted his child back but when Merlin fixed things he always scarified something of himself. Whenever things were fixed for Arthur it was always Merlin who was left hurting.

Arthur knew that now.

But he hurt. His child was dead. Gwen had been alone for three days. Merlin was magically exhausted from the Beast. His knights would be questioning his decision to revoke the ban on magic. He was dizzy and he struggled to breath and he stormed down the hall but he had to find Gwen.

He saw her, as he glanced momentarily out the window. She sat under a tree in the Castle's garden. Her head was bowed and her back was towards him. He made his way down to her immediately.

"Arthur!" She jumped and looked up as he arrived before her, "what are you doing up and about? I thought Merlin said you needed your rest." She asked but made no effort to stand up.

"Yeah. He did say something about that." Arthur said softly, "but I heard…I heard" he couldn't say it. Instead he choked back a sob and knelt by her side.

Merlin had followed Arthur but allowed him some space understanding that Arthur needed to find his Queen. He watched them from an open window once he realized Arthur was heading outside to speak with her.

He watched as they comforted each other and sighed rested his head on his hands as he thought about what he was ready to do.

Gaius, he knew, would tell him not to. That it was too dangerous, and that he was an idiot. Merlin already knew all of this but he was tired.

Tired of the pain in his chest that swelled like the currents of an ocean. Tired of the Beast that was destroying him from the inside out.

Merlin had made up his mind. Arthur and Gwen were going to have their child.

He spun on his heels and stormed down the stairs and headed straight into Gaius' chambers. He shuffled through the potions and the books flew from the shelves has he searched for what was missing.

Merlin spent the next twelve hours toiling over his spells. Finally he had finished and he could hardly stand from the exhaustion. He laughed joyously though and felt the Beast recoil in distaste.

If all went well he not only would he give Arthur and Gwen the child they so desperately wanted and needed, but hopefully it would destroy the Beast forever.

"Hey Merlin. If this creature is a sort of cousin of the dragon could you just not order it to leave your body?" Lancelot asked from the doorway. Merlin jumped in surprise.

"Oh, hullo Lancelot." He smiled weakly at him and sat up from the table he had been sitting at.

"Yeah. I suppose I could." Merlin nodded as he rubbed at the sleep in his eyes, "with a bit of practice I've been able to keep it down."

"Except for when it eats too much of your powers you mean." Lancelot frowned, "If you have power over it why not cast it out?"

"If I cast it out where is it going to go? It'll go into another person, someone who will be helpless against it. Someone who will die and then it will keep on attacking people. I'm not letting that happen. It's staying inside of me until I get rid of it." Merlin said sternly.

"Oh, I see." Lancelot nodded slowly, "And I assume you have a plan on how to do that then. Something that doesn't involve anyone getting hurt including you."

"Something like that." Merlin shrugged.

"Merlin!" Lancelot argued but Merlin waved a hand unconcernedly and smiled his usual goofy smile.

"What are you up to?" Lancelot sighed as Merlin hurried to pick up a number of vials and one book.

"Making a little miracle." Merlin said as he ran out the door. He hurriedly made his way to the burial chambers.

Without Arthur awake they had waited to give the infant a proper memorial. Instead it was carefully placed in a small wooden crate, which had been padded with silks.

It had only been three days but Merlin had put a preservative spell on the infant's body the moment he had made his decision. Now all he did was to preform the spell perfectly and everything would be okay.

He poured one bottle that had green potion over the child's body. It glowed in the darkness of the hall. Merlin closed his eyes taking slow deep breaths as he began to chant the spell.

Moments later Lancelot burst into the chambers followed closely behind by Arthur, and Gwen.

"Merlin! What the hell are you doing? Stop!" Lancelot shouted and he ran forward to but there was a barrier between Merlin, and himself, and he was gently pushed back.

"What is he thinking?" Arthur asked his face was pale and he sweated profusely despite the chill in the chamber.

Merlin felt his skin tingle and he had never felt so alive before. He raised his right hand and rested it on the baby's head. He never once stopped the chanting. He had had the spell memorized and perfected. One slip and it would all be ruined.

The Beast inside of him fought against the spell but Merlin was determined even in his weakened state. Positive energy flowed through him in a way he had never felt before. It gave him strength knowing that this baby was going to live. Arthur was going to have the family he wanted so desperately.

Everything was going to be okay. For once, everything was going to be okay.

Gently and gradually Merlin felt his life force leave his body through his fingertips and enter the child's body. With every word he chanted he let go of every pain he had ever felt and instead focused on every positive moment. Every laugh he had ever shared with a friend. Every hug he had ever given.

He thought of the dragon he had hatched. Of the lives he had saved. He thought of Arthur happy with Gwen. He thought of the baby and the new, happy life it was going to have.

In that moment Merlin did his best to continue the chanting as he suppressed his laughter. He wondered if this was what going mad felt like and realized that he didn't care.

Arthur walked as close as he could before the barrier stopped him. He stepped to the side so he could see Merlin's face and hand on the baby inside the box.

"Merlin." He sighed, "What are you doing?" But Merlin did not stop nor did he even dare look at Arthur. Instead he continued chanting.

This continued for an hour until Merlin knew he couldn't take it anymore. He was weak beyond belief and he was about to give up hope that it had done any good at all.

Merlin's voice waivered and cracked, he took a deep breath and continued but his voice had changed. He wasn't surprised but knew that this was the sign that he was at his end.

Without meaning to the magic bond between him and the infant broke with a crack. Merlin was thrown back against the far wall, and the barrier was broken.

"Merlin!" Lancelot and Gwen rushed forward to Merlin, only to find that he didn't look like himself.

Merlin groaned and blinked opening his eyes, he grinned.

"Merlin. I don't know how to break this to you…but you're an old man." Lancelot said slowly frowning. Merlin laughed,

"A small price." He said and struggled to sit up. He looked down at his wrinkled hands and nodded approvingly.

"It may take some getting used to but I've used an aging spell so often perhaps it won't be so bad." He stumbled to his feet. He gasped and wheezed, it took all his strength to get up.

Arthur hadn't moved from where he stood. Merlin looked him over and sighed. Arthur was covered in sweat, pale and was struggling to breath.

"Sorry Arthur." He nodded slowly shuffling towards the small box. "I figured you'd forgive me." He added with a small chuckle. With that Merlin reached into the small box and pulled out the baby.

"Oh Merlin. You didn't." Gwen said softly covering her mouth with her hands she was near tears.

Merlin whispered into the baby's ear and the baby began to wail. It kicked its feet out and Merlin laughed.

"Congratulations Arthur, It's a boy." Merlin smiled holding the baby close to his chest.

"Come quick though. He needs to feel his mother and father quickly to secure the magic life force in his body. Come, come." Merlin waved him over.

One last chapter to wrap everything up! Thank you guys so much for all of your support. As a first fan-fiction I feel like it was very successful and you may be seeing more from me in the future.


	6. Epilogue

Quote Prompt from Method in Madness: "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may would your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." –Buddha

Disclaimer I do not own Merlin or any of the characters, storylines, or anything.

Chapter Six: Epilogue

At first Arthur hesitated but in the next moment he at Merlin's side looking down and his new son. He couldn't help but laugh.

"A son! I have a son!" He reached over gently and took the infant from Merlin who smiled and nodded. Gwen rushed over soon after. The two of them hugged with the baby in between them and they laughed with joy.

Lancelot came over to Merlin and offered his arm, which Merlin leaned on gratefully.

"You must be exhausted." Lancelot said softly and Merlin only smiled.

"This," Arthur had pulled away from his family and was pointing to Merlin's body, "it's not temporary is it?" Merlin shook his head,

"'fraid not." Merlin said and Arthur's brows furrowed.

"Thank you, Merlin." He said in earnest, "You shouldn't have done this, but thank you."

"Hey. At least I look like a sorcerer now right?" Merlin joked and laughed before grunting in pain. "Need to sit I think." He muttered to Lancelot who nodded and guided him over to a small crate.

"I'll get you a pointy hat and we can make it official." Arthur laughed. "Court Sorcerer of Camelot." He grinned but his smile faltered, "That is, if you're well. You're going to be alright, Merlin, aren't you?"

Merlin smiled and nodded slowly, "That I am."

"And the Beast?" Lancelot asked and Merlin's grin widened, "I smothered it with happiness. It wanted to escape when it realized my body was dying quickly but with my positive energy I was able to command it to stay put. It lost all its power, its energy. Once I trapped it I was able to take its energy. I worked its power in reverse made it part of my energy until it was nothing." Merlin smiled triumphantly,

"And then I took my power and transferred it to your little boy." He nodded pleased with himself.

They all laughed and congratulated Merlin on his success. With Lancelot's help they all made their way back up into the castle and Merlin was told to rest on Arthur's bed.

"Don't muck it up." Arthur warned and Merlin snorted, "After all I've done today I think I'll muck up this best as much as I'd like." He said and promptly took all the pillows and tossed them onto the floor so he could lean his back against the headboard.

They all laughed talked to one another for hours but as the sun began to set, Merlin sighed.

"I admit, your son might have a…a side effect. " He rubbed the side of his face.

"What kind of side effect?" Arthur asked confused.

"Oh nothing terrible." Merlin shrugged, "I mean you are repealing the ban on magic so by the time he's grown I'm sure he'll be a happy boy, and perhaps quite talented as well."

"You're saying he's going to be a sorcerer?" Gwen asked with a smile and Merlin returned the smile with a nod.

"It's likely. I gave him most of my life force, and my life is fused with magic. It's apart of me in a way that is difficult to describe. I gave a large part of myself to your son. It would be only logical to assume he has this power now."

"So he is you?" Arthur asked confused, and Merlin laughed heartily.

"You wish. No, he was made from me. I suppose I'm something like a second father? His blood and flesh is Gwen and you, and his spark of life is myself. Sorry, it's a bit selfish I know but it was the only way I could figure out how to bring him back without killing someone else."

"You couldn't have done this same spell but with me?" Arthur asked frowning and Merlin shook his head a much more serious expression on his face.

"You would have died Arthur. Anyone other than me would have died."

"You're really that special. I mean you're pretty impressive and important but you're really so special that you're the only one who could live through that?" Arthur asked skeptically and Merlin shrugged.

"I'm the all powerful Emrys." He said, "is magic a problem?" he asked with hesitation after a few moments of silence and Arthur smiled.

"He's healthy, yeah? He's strong. He's alive. What more could I ask for?" He asked and Gwen nodded.

"You gave us a son. Magic or not we're just so thankful he's with us." She reassured.

"What will you name him?" Merlin asked as an after thought. Arthur leaned back in his seat at that time and smiled.

"Oh, I was actually thinking Mordred would be a good name. What do you think Gwen?" He asked running a hand through her hair. She smiled and nodded.

"Sounds like a lovely name." She agreed, "Brave. Yes, I like it."

Not sure how many of you know this, but Mordred's name translates to "Brave one" so I thought I'd throw it in there.

This is the conclusion of The Wild Beast. I hope y'all liked it. I think a first fan fiction I did all right, and certainly learned plenty. Mahaps there may be more in the future? I do have a couple ideas stirring around inside of me already.


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